A Caffeine Love Story

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A Caffeine Love Story

If you are like most people, you want to be successful.  If you are like some people, you are willing to work your butt off for it.  And if you are like 1% of people, you actually have the energy to do something about it!

I’m sure that percentage is not much of an exaggeration considering the leading causes of doctor visits are related to stress and fatigue.  This is a problem the majority of people complain about, yet very few do anything about it – perhaps because of lack of energy?  Are you struggling with lack of energy and ongoing fatigue like the rest of us?

What the hell is wrong with us?

There are hundreds of ways to answer this, but I’m only going to talk about one today.  Allow me to share my story and how my natural energy levels took an unnatural plummet as I’m sure many people will be able to relate.

This is a caffeine love story between a man, his mug and his struggle to maintain enough blood in his caffeine stream.

Love at First Sip

Relationships are tough at times, but the first stage in a new relationship is typically exciting, thrilling, and blissful.  This relationship was no different.  Caffeine and I met in High School and were quickly joined at the hip.  She had her own little special way of lifting my mood, putting a smile on my face, and boy did she get my heart pumping!  The smell of her aroma, the taste of her body, the way she made me feel… there was nothing better than waking up to her in the morning!

We stayed strong for several years with only a few ‘breaks’ here and there.  When we were apart, I still thought of her often… I even had headaches just thinking of her.  The years slowly passed and she stayed with me through thick and thin.  In college, we were closer than ever!  Unfortunately, this love story doesn’t have a happy ending – there IS too much of a good thing!

During parts of college I was working sixty hours per week, taking six classes, making time for a business fraternity, and trying to maintain my relationships (not just with caffeine).  I was practically BEGGING to be stressed out, fatigued, or depressed.  This was not a fun and healthy time for me as I only slept about 4 hours or less per night, didn’t have time for exercise, and always ate on-the-go.  This was NOT sustainable.

Instead of being smart about it, I didn’t cut back on my responsibilities because I believed doing so was not a valid option. We always have options, we just fail to see them when we are in the heat of the moment.  I even tried to convince myself I could train my brain to require less sleep if I persisted for long enough – and my relationship with caffeine promised to help me through it.  Ignorance was not bliss.

The easy and quick fix – jump deeper into my relationship with caffeine!  I consumed so many energy producing fluids per day that it would have killed a baby elephant or even impressed Charlie Sheen (wow, another Sheen reference).  Even with the high gas prices, fueling my car paled in comparison to fueling my body with these ‘precious’ fluids.  Relationships ARE expensive!

Of course, we started slowly – say, a coffee in the morning and an energy drink for lunch.  After a while though, I often found myself consuming FOUR Red Bulls per a day and my daily Starbuck’s Mocha consisted of five shots of espresso – this did wonders for my digestive system.  Let’s just say that I was REAL popular with the ladies in my classrooms.  (Caffeine is the jealous type, and obviously didn’t want me spending much time with anyone else.)

A Love Affair Gone Awry

Thank goodness, I survived yet ANOTHER day!  This was usually a prevailing thought at the end of the day – I wasn’t thriving, I was surviving.  You would think that after an 18 hour day, my head would quickly hit the pillow upon arriving home and my lights would be out quicker than a toddler fighting Mike Tyson.

This couldn’t be further from the truth:  my body was in knots, my mind was in scrambles, and my eyes were constantly irritated (contacts in your eyes for 18-hour a day doesn’t feel good).  I felt dead to the world, but was unable to escape into the peaceful darkness because of the overload of ‘caffeine-love’ that still pulsed through my veins.  They say love is blind, and it obviously made me an idiot as well.

As it turned out, my relationship with caffeine was on the rocks.  What is a man to do when he isn’t fully satisfied?  I did the worst thing possible, I cheated on her.  I left her alone in the evenings to go spend time with a new companion – the next quick fix for my late night predicament: BOOZE.  If you start the day with stimulants, maintain throughout the day with stimulants… isn’t it rational then that you should combat these effects by adding beer(s) or wine to counteract the side effects?  Sure did!  And believe it or not, it helped… to fall asleep that is.  But those precious four hours of sleep were tainted by mediocre rest, at best.

I was a mess, and I knew it – but what was I to do?  The relationship had reached its climax, and it had to end…

But the biotch didn’t go quietly.

The Last Drop

At the time, our relationship just made sense to me, but looking back I think I was half crazy.  I justified every behavior by claiming that what I was doing was fulfilling a need – a need to speed through college, a need to get ahead, a need to stay out of debt, and a need to… stay awake.

Obviously, problems arose.  I seemed to be able to  cope during my expected hours of alertness (work and school), but when it came to free time, family, friends, and my health I just didn’t have the energy.  Like many unhealthy relationships, she sucked the life out of me.  Talk about an abusive relationship!

After a few months of this behavior, our relationship no longer gave me the feelings or the effect I wanted: my quality of work was shoddy, my memory was spotty, my body was weak, and I had to take continuous breaks at work to take naps in my car and I skipped classes when I could (or slept through them).  I felt I was operating a 60-year-old machine when it was barely in its 20s… not just my body, but also my mind. No bueno.

This love story became a sob story and the pain in my life was a big eye-opener.  Our relationship crashed and burned as they say, and breaking free from her chains was no easy task.  Every time I’d call it off she’d look at me with her juicy eyes, enticing me to come back.  When my discipline wavered, she was right there next to me ready to give support.  And I gave in – again and again.

I realized that I couldn’t just cut her out of my life completely, I had to gradually weaken her hold on me before I could escape (read about Kaizen).  She had made me weak because I depended on her entirely too much for far too long.  It was time to create some distance between us and focus on ‘me’ for a while.

Recouping my natural and healthy energy levels was an internal struggle.  I knew what was best for me, but did I have the discipline to do it?  For so long I stayed with her because she made me feel great in the moment and I decided to face the consequences in the future.  When the ‘future’ became the present, I was pissed off at my past self who made all those stupid choices.

After our relationship came to an end, caffeine continued to be my stalker.  She was everywhere I looked, she hung out with all my friends, and she’d send me love letters in the form of coupons.  The more I resisted the more tempting she looked.  A decade love affair is hard to get over.  Yet this time, I used my brain to do the thinking instead of listening to my bodily lust for her – instead of resisting her I tried to release her, it worked wonders.  I focused on the long-term benefits of leaving her instead of the instant gratification of running into her warming arms.

It took several months, but I was able to get her off my back…but we still remain friends to this day.


She’ll always have a place in my heart (she was my first), but I now realize she doesn’t have my best interest at heart and I am better off without her.  To this day, we continue to have periodic ‘flings’ but nothing to the extent of my college days.  I boycott her regularly to ensure she doesn’t continue to abuse me as I try to abuse her.  I  look forward to the day I can be rid of her forever, but until then…

…I’ll continue to appreciate the way she makes me feel!  Oh baby!


What do you think?  Have a similar story?  Or am I just completely nuts?

This post was written by

Greg has written 69 articles on Student of Me.

Greg is the creator and primary writer for Student of Me. He probably spends way too much time on the computer writing, researching, programming, and working on his photography. He loves escaping from screen-time to travel, ride his motorcycle, experience the outdoors and spend time with loved ones. You can contact him at greg (at) studentofme.com!

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2 thoughts on “A Caffeine Love Story”

  1. Larry says:

    Once again Greg — you have outdone yourself. And not only with the content but with the inuendos…geez — you need a woman, man!

    1. Greg Yung says:

      Larry, you are probably right. Thanks!

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